I have issues.

Apparently, i have issues. Husband and I go out with a couple every so often to dinner and once we had them at our house. When at our house, the guy took second helpings of food and then ate one bite of each thing leaving a ton of food on the plate. That bothered me. Why take the second helping just to waste it? So i said something. That's me. I speak my mind.

Another time, we went out to dinner with them, husband and i shared a dish as we often do. We order one entree (most entrees in the US are way bigger than they need to be) and share it and then order a dessert and share it. It's logical, it's not wasteful, and we always have room for dessert. It works for us.

Well this last time, the woman, after everyone was done with the appetizers, there was one item left and i said I'll go ahead and eat it. She said, "Oh yeah, she (me) has issues with wasting food." Ugh. Issues with wasting food. Does she not know about the kids starving in places like Africa and India because kids don't even have a morsel of bread to eat? And i have issues? It really bugged me when she said that. Anyhow...

Muharram has begun. I always look forward to Muharram and Ramadan. I always learn a lot from the visiting scholars and sheiks. I always learn something about my religion, my faith, myself, and my husband. InshAllah i'll post some of what i learn this year...

Controlled Democracy

What a joke the US Gov't is. Hamas has won the DEMOCRATIC elections and the US isn't happy. Typical isn't it? They may as well say "We want democracy, but only if we can control it." That's how Bush got in the White House after all...controlled democracy.

Hamas has done more for Palestine than any other organization. What made the US think the elections would go any other way?

Okay, i'm blogging way too much today. I guess it's that third cup of coffee.

Need sleep...

I watched Turning Muslim in Texas after reading about it on Sunni Sisters blog (link to the right). I'm way too lazy to link anything today. Between having my nose stuck in the Salam Pax book (this book rocks!) until 1:30 a.m. and Little Dude waking up at 5:00 a.m. to practice rolling over and poking me in the eye, I'm way way too tired to even function let alone link. Anyhow, do a google search for the title and it'll come right up. My thoughts on it are below.

Speaking of which, Sunni Sister is back! Yay. A group of thug bloggers were harassing her and she thought of quiting. Could you imagine the blogging world without her??? No. Speaking of which, if anyone has her email (she's turned off comments) please pass it on to me. She asked a question on her blog about the carnivaling and i'd like to answer....Thanks ya'll.

Thoughts from Turning Muslim in Texas

I found it interesting but definately not representative, nor even like any of the reverts/converts i know but anyway, that's another conversation. What i couldn't believe is the Baptist mom on there saying she could have probably dealt better with her son telling her he's gay than him being a Muslim. Wha...t? I mean come on. What is her problem? I don't know any other parents that would prefer their kids to be gay than convert to a religion. That's very selfish first of all. Second of all, lots of kids (and adults) struggle with being gay. Why would she want her son to struggle through that? Third of all, according to all the religious books of monotheistic religions, being gay is a sin and a ticket to hell - this is not my opinion, it is what is in the books and whether i agree with it or not is not up for discussion. But the point is - if she's that religious, she would see being gay as being a ticket to hell so she would rather see her son go to hell than convert to another religion. Well I guess, she probably thinks that being Muslim will send him to hell too. I guess she might think he has a better chance if he's gay than Muslim? She reminds me of my Baptist neighbor who told me since i don't believe in the "right God" - Jesus (according to her), but instead believe in God himself, i can't make it to heaven. Sigh. Can't we all just get along? And why does everyone seem to think they know who's going where (heaven or hell)?

Another thing that bothered me about the video is that girl on there who was going behind the line of women praying and moving them where she thought they should be. What's that all about? Why not worry about your own prayers and get in the frame of mind to speak to your maker instead of making sure everyone has their i's dotted and t's crossed regarding prayer? I didn't get her. I didn't understand why they showed almost all niqabi's too. I have no problem with niqabi's, but it certainly isn't the majority of reverts/converts. I just feel if non-Muslims view this, they don't get an accurate portrayal. The context it is in - can America become a Muslim country - it seems like you would want to show the diversity. If i was a non-Muslim watching it, i woulda been put off because prior to converting, i thought people covering from head to toe was extreme and i'm sure others do too (non-Muslims). Maybe it's just me. I am also one of those who, when talking about Islam, sugarcoat it. I don't know why. I guess because it was hard for me to digest at first so i assume it would be hard for others - the rules of the religion, not the beliefs.

On a sidenote, that family from small town Texas along Route 66, was pretty cool. My dad is a mayor of a town near there. That would have been funny if i had moved down there like my dad wanted me too. That would raise the Muslim population of the area up to, um, 5. :-)

Joke

Okay, so the joke.

Matatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

That made him what?

Meme?

Am i the only blogger that doesn't know what a meme is. Will someone please enlighten me?

I'll share a joke with you if you tell me.

How time flies

Nephew (16 months-ish)
Originally uploaded by wayfarer.

Okay, here is my nephew at around 16 months. He's walking and talking! I remember when i last saw him. I was about 5 months pregnant (i didn't tell you guys that though at the time...husband and i decided to keep it a secret to avoid evil eye (just in case) and all). Anyway, my Little Dude is about the age my nephew was when i last saw him. Time flies!

*** I know...i post a picture of him but never of my son. It's a family rule (husband, me, and Little Dude) to not post our pictures online. Don't really know why - we just don't wanna. But since my brother doesn't mind, i can post his kids.

Speaking of which. Aisha commented about whether i am an anonymous blogger or not. I guess I'm half and half. It's no secret who i am...like i don't hide or anything but yeah, overall, i don't use my name although i have i guess because people have gotten to my website via my name. I don't know how though cause i don't remember using it. Anyway, it's just a privacy thing. I know that doesn't make sense but we just don't care to post pictures of our nuclear family or personal stuff either. It's a decision hubby and i made long ago both being private people...me less so than he, but now we are one so there you go.

Progressive Faith Blog Carnival

***This is a group i belong too that consists of several people from different religions who consider themselves *progressive*. The weekly "carnival" is a summary of the members posts that week.

This week's Carnival finds a home at Think Buddha. If you want to support a more inclusive public voice for people of all faiths, send a link to xpatriated_texan@yahoo.com.

The weekend.

1. Am supposed to be reading this book and this one and this one as reviews on all are due very soon but can't keep my nose out of this book. He had a blog named Where is Raed? and began writing right before the attack on Iraq. It's a fascinating book and I can't keep away from it. I wish I could read the books i'm supposed to with such zeal because i really need to finish one this week so i can turn the review in. Ugh. The battle of reading for work and reading for pleasure strikes once again. Googlefight was way off.

2. We bought a wireless router, modem and all the other hoopla we need to get our own wireless connection and ended up spending a whole lot that we are getting for free right now by using our neighbor's connection. That's irritating.

3. Met the lovely Aisha on Friday and was very happy to make her acquaintance. In the words of Bogie... "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship." MashAllah, she's just as wonderful in person as she is on her blog. The sort of people I love to have around. Another successful online meeting. She has been moved from the "i like" category of my blogroll to the "i know" category and enthusiastically so. (Nice to meet you sis.) And thanks for holding my little cuddlebug so i could eat. :-D

4. It rained all weekend which i love but turns me into a lazy slob. Love that as it's so rare to be able to do that.

5. Watched Crash this weekend. Felt like crawling into a hole and dying it was so depressingly right on about everything. I felt the world was very violent after watching it. Well also keeping an eye on the Jill Carroll situation. I am finding that so disturbing as well. I don't know she has affected me more than the other kidnapped but she just looks so je ne sais quoi, pure of heart? But back to the movie...it was very real and very good and ended with a positive note. A definate "do watch."

6. I removed Dr. Maxtor from the blogroll. I put him there after only reading a couple posts and thought he was funny. Now i realize he's serious and like many said the wahabi sort. I don't like that brand of Islam. I like the soft and gentle Islam. Religious intolerance irritates me. Osama and Bush both run off of bigoted religion. I'm not saying Dr. Maxtor is like this but after reading more of his blog, i decided his blog wasn't for me after all.

7. Now, my to do list this week: Comfort son as his teeth push through his poor little gums, get the complicated wireless stuff all set up (i'm about to just return it and write one review, get gutters cleaned before they fall off from all the rain and leaves, clean my office, get little dude an exersaucer, and lastly but not least, find out if duck is halal because i'm really craving duck and am determined to find some halal duck somewhere somehow.

Great blogs!

With all the blog award thingy majingy's going around, I have found some new and very noteworthy blogs that I've added to my blogroll.

Anarcho Muslim and Dr. Maxtor are very interesting. I laughed at Dr. Maxtor's Top ten pro-regressive Moslim idiots of 2005.***

Another amusing read is Saudi Jeans. It's the first Saudi blog i've come across. Probably because most of them are in Arabic. It's an amusing read and he has a great flickr album too.

Brooklyn Quaker and Velveteen Rabbi are fascinating reads from other slices of life. I found Velveteen Rabbi by doing a qur'an search and came across her entry about reading the Qur'an and became fascinated. I officially list her blog as one of my favorites right now.

And finally, Raising Yousuf: A Diary of a Mother Under Occupation is an amazing read. It's interesting to see a first hand account of occupied Palestine and what day to day life is like there. I've read other activist Palestine blogs etc, but hers is highly personal as she is raising her son Yousuf there. It's alarming to see how day to day life there actually is. What else is there to say about it. I find this blog absolutely gripping.

***Update. Dr. Maxtor has been deleted from the blogroll. Changed my mind.

Good group...

Check us out...and get involved.

Rumi rumination...

What do we do when we don't see ourselves?

Not Christian, Jew, Magian or Moslem?
Not East nor West, nor land or sea;
Not Nature, nor the stars in Heaven.
Not earth, water, air.

During that long commercial break...

1. I lost everything on my hard drive. Everything. Pictures, my writing, everything. They couldn't save anything from the hard drive. I asked for it (the actual hard drive) back but they can't find it. I am so anti-CompUSA at this point. I'm especially sad to lose the novel i had begun. It's a big goal of mine to finally write the "all american novel" and i had finally begun. It's gone and now i don't have the energy to restart. :-/ Frustrating.

2. I got my computer back yesterday and am focusing my energy on killing it completely so that i can get the new one before the warranty runs out. I still can't believe it crashed twice in a month. I'm certain it'll crash on it's own but i'm going to help it along by putting it in "stress positions" as learned from Donald Rumsfield.

3. While offline i got a lot done. Cleaned house, organized, read a few books (The Illustrated Rumi- very good, Living Islam Outloud - also good but i didn't agree with these women's "progressive" islam, and i read a few other books, watched a few movies - the best of which was "Goodbye Lenin" - i absolutely LOVED the movie...so warm and touching. I also organized recipes and tried cooking a lot of new things. Also focusing on eating better and taking more care of myself because of no. 4...

4. Had a serious wake-up call regarding my parents. My relationships with both are a little awkward and bitter. My mom came very close to dying last week from a heart condition and almost heart attack and when she said her parting words to me, i lost it emotionally. I also realized over this last week just how much i love her even if our relationship is way less than perfect. I also realized how much guilt she is carrying with her. She feels bad for everything that happened to me in my youth, similar to what my father goes through these days. They are really repentent about what they did to me. What is strange is that all my life i wanted them to be sorry for things done and now that it's here and both my parents doing it at the same time, i don't know what to do with it. I want to forgive and i think i already have but i think i've become numb. I really need to fix these relationships. I've been trying to but i need to try harder. You never know when you will lose them for good.

5. I found Islamic coloring books and picture books that are mostly non-sectarian and snatched those up. Also found a store that carries more. It's ran by an Ismaeli, which i know they consider themselves shia but i'm still confused of who that dude is that they have hanging everywhere. I need to look up some information on them so i understand them a little better. Real nice guy that ran the store. He's more a sufi i think than ismaeli. He gave me a book which was nice of him. The book is by Seyyed Hossein Nasr. Looks interesting.

6. Used up some of my trade credit at two bookstores and got some interesting books in return:

-Mama Day by Gloria Naylor which people keep recommending to me.
-Kabir the Great Mistic (an old and out of date book)
- The Book of Strangers by Ian Dallas a book written in 1972 by what appears to be a hippie who became a sufi and embraced Islam - sounded out of date and therefore interesting.
-The Gift, Poems by Hafiz. Had to pick this up after Aisha spoke so highly of him.
-Sufi Essays
-Sanskrit of the Body (a book of poems)

7. My little boy is growing up so fast that it's just scary. He even has a favorite book (Chicka Chicka Boom Boom) - it makes him giggle uncontrollably. It's so exciting and sad at the same time to see him change so much in such a short amount of time. In the last week he started doing two new things, well three. One is this screeching sound. He screeches for hours at a time and then laughs. It is very amusing but at six in the morning it's not so cute. He also scoots. I don't know how but he does because every morning he is right next to me when i wake up. I don't know how he does it. He also rolled over for the first time the other day. His hands are now good at grabbing and aiming. He's always grabbed but it wasn't intentional. Now he wants to hold onto everything, and put it in his mouth. I can't believe he is four months old today. MashAllah what a dear blessing he is.

8. Please help me find my old links and perhaps some new ones too. Please see the following post and help me put my Humpty Dumpty computer back together again.

Help!

I finally got my computer back and will post soon but right now i'm trying to get my programs reloaded, refind my favorites (years and years of them) etc. They were unable to recover anything from my hard drive which really sucks...more on that later. In the meantime i'm having a hard time finding all the links i use to use and my daily reads, etc. So i ask for help.

What are your favorite daily links? Muslim websites (like Maniac Muslim)? Spiritual sites? Useful sites, recipe sites, Etc. I'm hoping Dictator Princess will offer up hers and Sister Scorpion too since both of them always have good links and find great stuff online but I'm hoping everyone will at least leave a few links. Everyone should benefit from them. Thanks!