Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Caught up a bit!

Finally got done with all my ebay selling. Spring cleaning is still underway. I'll start doing my menu's and food blog again in May. Been crazy around here!

I also have our next set of spring activities since the trees are finally budding and i'll post pictures of our past activities.

Getting a root canal done tomorrow after a bitter year long fight against it. Hate dental procedures and drugs and this has been a week full of drugs. Annoying. I really need to find a homeopathic store here. It's hard to find stuff here. We live in an area where it's rural but it's not. Everything is just far. Which reminds me, gotta go get the bernina back. She's all cleaned and spruced and ready to make a bunch of button holes. I got the call this morning.

I know i said i'd open the store but there doesn't seem to be much of an interest anyhow so i'm taking my time. There's locals who want to buy stuff though and it makes me want to go around to all the town center gift stores and see if they want to carry some of my things. That would mean little dude going to preschool more though and i can't bear the thought. Me and other moms around here are so different. They can't wait till their kids are in school and me, i can't bear the thought. I love spending time with him and doing things. Yes, at times, i want my own time but he is only going to be this small once. And this is the only time he'll love kissing and cuddling his mommy and wanting mommy to coddle him like a baby. And it's the only time he'll say the craziest things and wonder how he comes up with it. For instance, if he sees a hand print he says "hi five mommy hi five!" And how he wants me to put my legs on the coffee table so he can go across my train tracks. How he "needs" to go to New York City every day now. This request is not going away. How he calls little girls princesses and boys his friends, whether he knows them or not. How instead of saying "go again" he says "try again". How he eats a strawberry and says "juicy!" and how before he's even finished his bowl of yogurt and berries he's asking for "more please." And how when his doll or bear is in his way he says "Excuse me baby!" How he tells me "mommy, you need coffee. Tired. I'm tired too mommy. I need coffee too." So i make him ovaltine and me coffee and we talk about our day.

I love this kid and i love being a mom. God has given me something i never thought i'd have. I don't want to share it with anyone else. Annnnyway, I have this constant internal battle of wanting to do something outside the house and being a mom but it always comes down to being a mom first and letting that other stuff go, hence the reason i haven't been working hard on getting the store open. I want to, but i look at this boys eyes asking me to play with him, teach him, hug him and i can't refuse. Every cell in my body collects the memories of these days so when i'm old in my rocking chair quilting away in lonliness i can recall the weight of him, the way he plays with the baby hairs on the back of my neck and the way his breath sounds in my ear as he shifts his weight and lays his head on my shoulder. How he loves trains and talks about them all day and plays with them and gets excited about them when one day 30 years from now, he'll be stuck at a railroad crossing cursing the train that is making him late for work (God i hope not!).

Oh my God, listen to me go on and on. Like i'm hormonal or something. I'll spare you now...time to play.


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