Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Why do i do this? I have had a project for a month now with a deadline of this coming Thursday. I began yesterday. I've sat down to do it several times prior but always found something better to do. Granted, i have a lot going on right now and a lot to do and for some reason that stuff gets priority (in reality, it's harder work). I can find some very inventive ways to procrastinate.

There's always something that needs to be done, cleaned, read, written, blogged, whatever. Everytime i sit down to work, i don't. Like right now I'm blogging when i should be working. I did get about 12 pages of material done but that's nothing compared to what is left and now i'm back to procrastinating...and once my focus is gone, it's gone.

Earlier i made time to go to the library - to pick up a few movies, a book i don't really have time to read, and a recipe book which i won't have time to mess with for at least a few weeks - but still, i went. Then on the way back, i realized i had something i needed to return to the store, so while at the store i may as well pick up those gifts i've been meaning to pick up for various people so i did. Oh, and then of course i should look at the home stuff cause the empty room really needs to be fixed up before my inlaws come so i look at that. By the end i've wasted (well not entirely...i really needed to get those gifts out) a couple hours. Then i think, well since a good portion of the day is already used i may as well just get everything done that i need done so i head over to Target to pick up some essentials and DH calls.

DH: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Going to Target."
DH: "For what?"
Me: "Stuff for that room."
DH: "You know what you are really doing?"
Me: "Yeah..." (laughing) "I'm procrastinating."
DH: "Yup. I know you don't wanna work but you will feel so much better when it's done."

He's so right. I would feel great when i'm done cause then i'd be free to do what i really want!

Why am i this way???? I hate the feeling i have when something is hanging over my head and this project has been buuuuuggging me bad so why not just sit down and do it? UGH...i never learned time management... Sucks to be this way.

Okay, I'm off to work, really... after i make a chai, order a book from the library about how to manage my time, then i'll work. Oh, but I should call DH and see how his day is going. Oh, and then i need to call the plumber. I better do that first before 5 oclock. Hmmm, i should get dinner started then too. Yeah, and then i'll get to work.

Help me and my insanity! How do i learn to just sit down and do it?

PS. The sad part of this equation is that there is another project looming after the current one and it includes a six hundred page book i must read and review within a week. It's nonfiction and dense...like with footnotes and stuff. It's a neverending bitter cycle.

PS 2: The only good thing is quality is never sacrificed. Once i get towards the end, i get into the project and involved and do it well. It's just getting there that is the problem.


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